Phases of Wedding Planning

I think all brides go through these phases of wedding planning:

1. Dreamy and full of ideas
2. Facing reality when you actually have to budget for things
3. Can't wait for the wedding to be done and over with
4. Freaking out when the time winds down to "the day"
5. It's here! So happy and relieved!

When I first started planning my wedding, I browsed through so many bridal magazines and websites. All the ideas seemed wonderful! The chairs covers added to the touch, the napkin ring holders, those huge centerpieces.... those all seem like must haves! When Cheapo Groom and I finally buckled down and set our budget, we had to list our priorities on which areas we can skimp on and which areas we can splurge on. Away went the chair covers and the letterpress invites with decorative trims. In came Costco invites and diy rsvp cards. We decided that we were ok with skimping on the invitations since most people just toss them out after the wedding anyway and also we are getting an ipod DJ instead of a real DJ since we already have a great playlist of music selection on our own. We did decide that we want to splurge on the photography since that's the only lasting tangible item after the wedding. We found our photographer to be really easy going and we love how he knows how to capture candid moments.

So with about 2 months left to the wedding, I am bombarded with small details that have to be done but are super boring. I have to think about what kind of favor boxes to pick, what kind of ribbons, papers for wedding programs, etc. I am not a micro manager and all these little details are driving me nuts. I know it's the little things that make the wedding special...but at this point, I just want the wedding done and over with. Who will really notice that I toiled over hours and hours on the internet researching for the perfect wedding favor box and ribbon trimmings? Chances are the boxes will go straight to the trash right away. I wish I can just give everything to my guests in a plastic shopping bag. =P Oh well...what must be done will be done. I'm just glad all the big stuff are all taken care of already!

Shady Houseofbrides.com

DO NOT USE THEM! THEY ARE SHADY!!!

I read online and found really mixed reviews about HOB. But I went ahead and ordered through them since they had the lowest price and free shipping for my Wtoo bridesmaid outfits. Things went well and the package arrived on time. I was all happy until I opened the package. First of all, the package came damaged, it had to be retaped up by my post office. I gave them the benefit of the doubt since that's not really their fault but rather the mail carrier's fault. Once I opened the box I realized they sent me the wrong color!!! I ordered Powder Blue and the color they sent me was Sweet Tarte (a light lilac color). So I called up HOB and after 20 min on hold I got to a live person. The person gave me an authorization code and assured me that they can exchange the color correctly for me if I send the gowns back to them. I sent the gowns back the next day first thing in the morning.

So I patiently waited for them to exchange my gowns for the right colors until I got this email:

Piggy,
We gave you authorization on May 21 to return the dress as you stated you rec'd the wrong color. The authorization has expired as the designer will no longer accept the dress back as too mich tome has passed.
Thank You,

HOB Website Department

I was really confused so I called HOB and again I was on hold for 30 min before finally reaching someone. I explained the situation to the lady and her response was beyond rude. She said I should've read the policy that they don't do exchanges or refunds. I explained to her that HOB sent me the wrong color, it wasn't my fault. Then she accused me of taking too long to send the gowns back. I sent the gowns back the next morning as soon as I can! So for awhile basically she told me I wasn't getting a refund or the dresses I sent them back. I was beyond furious!!! The 3 gowns costed me $450 and they were just going to screw me over because of their own incompetency?? The lady told me to call back since it was lunch hour over there and no one there can help me. I asked for her name and a direct number to call to bypass the 30 minute wait time. She refused to give me her name because she said she wasn't the one who authorized the authorization in the first place and that I'd have to wait through the 30 min phoneline when I call back. I blew up at her and HOB still refused to refund me back but finally agreed upon sending me back the gowns in the wrong color. So now I'm stuck with 3 gowns in the wrong shade. Anyone looking for Watters Wtoo #135 in sweet tarte? HOB is shady!!!

Look Like A Million Bucks!

Instead of spending hundreds of dollars on "bridal" jewelry, you can look into buying celebrity inspired jewelry at a fraction of the price. At Emitations there are plenty of celebrity inspired looks that you can use for your wedding day.

For example, Gwyneth Paltrow's 2007 Oscars look can be yours for under $100! That's right...all 3 pieces of it!


Or get JLo's look for $150!

Hmm...somehow all Ben Affleck exes have good taste!

I Take You, Kitty...

Last night I made Cheapo Groom trade his points at Dave and Busters for my hello kitty lip gloss. It has glitter, mirror on the back and bubble gum flavor...I couldn't resist! He thought it was a waste of his points. I found this today...I think it's my dream wedding!



wow...every little girl's dream come true!!! =P

Cheapo Wedding Arch

Michael's is having a sale right now...like this wedding arch is only for $20! Cheapo Groom and I spent about 20 minutes assembling it. Here's the final product...have to use some imagination to imagine it filled with nice looking flowers and tulle!


What it's suppose to look like:

Cheap Alterations and Cheesy Wedding Glamour Shots

Sorry it's been awhile since I've last posted. It's been a busy month and also I've been under the weather.

So I've been looking for a seamstress to make some alterations on my bridal gown. I need to have a bustle sewn in since I have a small train on my gown. All the prices I've seen around the expensive Orange County, CA area quoted me over $100+. So I decided to give the Las Tunas bridal row in the chinese part of town in Temple City a try. It will only cost me $15 and will only take 2 days to complete! What a big difference!

Cheapo Groom and I will be traveling back to Taiwan to take those cheesy wedding glamour shots. They're a really big deal in Asia...so it'll be a fun and funny experience. Below are some examples:


ANGLES or ANGELS??


Funny Heehee or funny haha?

We all know what happened to Pearl Harbor...
Nympho + Epilepsy???

Of course there are looks that I like...that's why we're taking them! Below are some examples of looks I like:



Taking the glamour shots in Taiwan will cost us about $500 usd...and I found out the price in LA is $2000! Dang! Our two plane tickets plus the photo session equal to about the same as the Los Angeles price!

New Year New Furniture!

We went furniture shopping today. Thank goodness for cheapo chinese furniture stores that are open even during chinese new year! Here's our new sofa:

The recliner function sold it for us! We're going to be watching TV like that all the time!

We also picked up a new 7 piece dining set.


All this for $700 including delivery. Not bad eh?

Bridal Bargains Book

I recently picked up this book called Bridal Bargains written by Denise and Alan Fields. It's a really useful book! It gives a lot of real life savings tip and also lots of websites to find good bargains. If you're planning a wedding I highly recommend it! But if you're super cheapo like me...just stay tuned and I'll be posting things from the book!

Vday = $$$ day

To all you lovebirds out there...I wish you a happy valentine's day. Personally I think valentine's day is another fabricated commercialized holiday invented by Hallmark to rip you off. Who said that only February 14 is the day you should express you love? Suddenly flowers, restaurants, gifts all get jacked up a couple of knotches in price. I think if you're in love, every day should be V-day! So for those single folks out there, don't feel bad that you don't have a valentine to spend the day with you....you're lucky you don't have to pay the extra premium for this one day!
I think the propaganda of V-day begins when you're a kid...you give out little vday cards and bake cookies and cupcakes for your classmates. Suddenly when you're older the price tag of these cards and gifts also increases with your age.

Tips for a Cheapo V-Day

• Celebrate on February 15th! (duh!)
• Home cooked dinner
  
• Go to restaurants where they don't jack up the price
• Buy a potted plant rather than cut flowers because it can last much longer

Craig is my friend

One way to earn some dough while getting rid of your junk is through Craigslist . I've moved around a lot in the past couple of years and each time I've gotten rid of my stuff through craigslist. You'd be surprised how many people want your old junk. I remember when I was moving out of my apartment in nyc, I listed my used pots and pans for free because I felt bad charging people for that and all these people flocked to pick it up.

Recently I've been on a mission to sell off Cheapo Groom's furniture in his house. Since he's not a bachelor anymore, these bachelor pad furniture should go! I got rid of his old huge hand me down leather sleeper sofa on craigslist. We all thought it was something no one would ever pay for but surprisingly we got overwhelming response! I've had over 10 calls about it with different stories ranging from autistic children's center to single guy's bachelor pad.
Good Bye old couch

Being the sentimental guy that Cheapo Groom is, it was really hard for him to part with this big couch that takes up way too much room in his living room. He said at least it means I know he won't get rid of me when I'm old and junky. Wow... thanks??

Craigslist also has a lot of other forums where you can find wedding vendors and other things. Just be careful of scammers! So far I've had a pretty good experience with craigslist though.

Premarital Counseling

As Cheapo Groom and I were slowly inching towards the idea of wanting to get engaged, we had to make sure we really share similar values and visions. We heard about stories of people calling off the engagement after going through premarital counseling because they discovered their core differences. Therefore, we decided we're going to go through with it before we got engaged- to save us the embarassment of calling off the engagement in case it really doesn't pan out.

We chose to go through the sessions with Cheapo Groom's home church pastor because we felt that the pastor would understand the cultural obligations and frustrations when dealing with family. We had 5 weeks of sessions with each session touching upon a certain topic:

1. Money- who will handle it, how will we invest it, what if someone asks for a loan?
2. Family- how to deal with in-laws, drawing boundaries
3. Faith- do we share same beliefs and religion?
4. Education- how important is education, how do we deal with differences in education,etc.?
5. Children- do we want any, how many, what's the timeline, who will be discipliner, etc.?

These sessions are a great way to get to know your significant other on a deeper level. It's really important to have a 3rd objective voice mediate the conversation. We were asked questions that we never really had to think about or we finally were able to address issues we bottled up for a long time.

Even if you're not religious, there are other ways to participate in these sessions. Many local community schools offer classes but the cheapest way is to find a married couple who's been married at least for a few years and sit down with them to talk about the hardships one might face in marriage.

But for now...you can start with the NY Times List of questions to ask before marriage:

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

The One?

So how do you know the person you're marrying is the one? I think for me it wasn't any one event that really changed my mind. Since Cheapo Groom and I have been friends for a long time before we finally decided to date, we knew if we crossed over the border to the relationship side it will have to be a serious. I guess we both defined our expectations as we were contemplating dating. We want to date seriously with the mindset that this might eventually lead to marriage. But even with our 10+ years of friendship, it did not guarantee that we'll be smooth sailing.

The leap from friendship to relationship is a bit blurry because you've been comfortable with the person as a friend for a long time. In the beginning Cheapo Groom and I had problems because his definition of quality time is different from my definition. Quality time for me does not mean hanging out with his family and his friends all at once. In his mind, he gets to kill 3 birds with one stone...spending quality time with all the important peeps in his life. I, on the other hand, wanted to spend alone time with him (sitting together watching tv does not count) and do date stuff with him. I guess we kind of skipped out on actual dating because I already know him so well. Even if going to the movies is considered a date, it's something I've already done with him many times as a friend.

Also we have really different values when it comes to family. I had trouble understanding why he wants to hang out with his family all the time and he had trouble understanding why I always find it so painful to spend time with family. We also had to draw boundaries with family with the level of comfort we have dealing with them. It was around this time, a couple of friends of mine kept talking about this 5 Love Languages thing. Basically they are:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

There's a quiz you can take to find out what your love language is. For me Quality Time ranked on the top while Cheapo Groom had Acts of Service as one of his first languages. After we realized that we were expressing and receiving love in a different way from our own ideal, we decided to change the way we "speak" love languages to make sure we are on the same page.

So after almost 3 years of dating and knowing each other for 12 years, we felt that we have similar visions and values about our future. It was more of an issue of "when" will we get married rather than "if" we will get married. It sounds tacky but I guess when you know, you just know. Sort of like if you know you stuff for a test, you know you're going to ace it. So once we felt that we were on track for getting engaged...we decided to look into premarital counseling.

Stay tuned for premarital counseling info... =)

Puff Puff Pass

For tonight's gathering with church friends I decided to try my first attempt at making cream puffs. Surprisingly it was pretty easy! This can be a cheapo dessert you can make on your own for wedding, engagement party, bridal shower or any other parties. It's a sure hit among friends! Here's a step by step view of the process:


mixing the custard using store bought package


making the crust with flour, butter and water


my babies are going in the oven!


check out the height on these suckers!


Piping the custard in with the ghetto sandwich bag


french vanilla cream puff with dark truffle (on ghetto plastic plate)


close up!


final results- strawberry french vanilla custard puffs!

super easy cheapo recipe here: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cream-puffs/detail.aspx

World's Largest Cake

World's Largest Wedding Cake: 15,032 Pounds

Mohegan Sun Casino Attempts to Shatter the World Record in Guinness Book of World Records

Today, at the New England Bridal Showcase, Mohegan Sun unveiled what it hopes will be the world's largest wedding cake. Measuring 17-feet tall and weighing 15,032 pounds, the seven-tiered cake is almost three-times the weight of the current record in the Guinness Book of World Records for the world's largest wedding cake.

The Mohegan Sun wedding cake is vanilla flavored and decorated with bows and hearts. Ingredients include: 10,000 pounds of pound cake batter and 4,810 pounds of creamy frosting with a taste of vanilla and almond. Comparatively speaking, the cake weighs more than five Volkswagen Beetles and can feed up to 59,000 people.

Chef Lynn Mansel, Mohegan Sun's Executive Pastry Chef and resident "Michelangelo of batters and buttercream," began creating the cake on Sunday, February 1st in the Uncas Ballroom. Along with his team of 57 chefs and pastry artisans, Chef Mansel baked 700, 18x24 inch vanilla sheet cakes. Then, using frosting as cement, they created 200, five- and six-layered bricks, which were put together to form the tiers of the wedding cake. Steel discs were used as cake separators and two fork-lifts helped raise each tier as the wedding cake took shape.

source: http://www.junkfoodnews.net/

Why Did I Start This Blog?

Since I'm the first one to be getting married among my close group of girlfriends, it's been quite a journey trying to figure out this whole wedding planning thing by myself. Like any other dreamy brides to be, I started by pouring through tons and tons of bridal magazines and got sucked into the whole propaganda of the wedding industry. I started thinking wow I really NEED those napkin ring holders and personalized napkins. I even told Mr. Cheapo Groom that I have to have my chair covers for our facility. At $3 per chair and at least 100 chairs...that's $300+! Cheapo Groom told me to think really hard about it for 10 minutes then decide. So after 8 minutes of really wanting it, the practical side of me kicked in. Will my friends and family really notice that piece of cloth? I can spend $300 somewhere else on better things than something on people's butts. After that, I decided to toss out all my bridal magazines.

I started researching all these wedding blogs and forums and found that although those sites were useful, most brides have a much higher budget than me. So I started my own cheapo version to help those cheapo brides out there. Hope this information will be useful to you!

More about Budgeting

Questions have been asked about how I came up with my budget. I used the budget calculator at The Wedding Channel and I typed in my budget and it will allocate a certain percentage to different categories based on typical spendings. Of course you can add/delete and customize the items. For example, in my $15,000 budget, it allocated about $5000 to food excluding alcohol. I thought that was a fairly good estimate. It's a good place to keep track of where you can splurge and where you can skimp a bit to cut corners.

Here is an example of what a budget calculator spreadsheet will look like:



Sites like www.theknot.com and theweddingchannel.com are good places with lots of planning resources such as budget calculator, guest list manager, seating manager, invitation generator, etc. I chose The Wedding Channel because it allows me to register Starwood Hotels as honeymoon registry. I'm still debating if I'm going to use a honeymoon registry. Hope this is helpful!

Wedding Budget

It's hard to keep an affordable wedding budget these days with all the hawks out there capitalizing on every girl's dream come true. There are many wedding budget websites out there that will help you set your budget. Also, remember to weigh in the priorities, some things are worth splurging and some things are worth skimping. Photography is really important to me since I feel that it is the only lasting tangible item after the wedding date. On the other hand, I don't really care about invitations since most guests will toss it out after the wedding anyway. Mr. Cheapo Groom and I were talking about for the 15k-20k we plan on spending on the wedding, we can easily take that money and travel around the world for a year! Sometimes I wish I can just not have the wedding and go travel instead. =P

Some useful websites:

www.theweddingchannel.com

www.theknot.com

Topics?

Thanks for all the positive feedback to Cheapo Bride! Please list any topics you are interested in and I'll definitely touch upon those topics!

The Location

Girls, be sure to take a month or two to gloat in the happiness of being engaged! Because once the planning process begins...that's when the stress begins.

I always knew I wanted an outdoor wedding...preferably a beach wedding ever since I was a little girl. I had always envisioned my wedding to be at some tropical island like Thailand or Bali where I will arrive with a grand entrance on an elephant.

Fast forward to 2006 when I actually got engaged and after tossing around some ideas, practicality made me decide on Santa Barbara, CA as my wedding location. Sure, we thought about a destination wedding in Los Cabos, Mexico but the idea of relying solely on the wedding coordinator at a resort scares me. Plus I don't speak Spanish and I don't have the money to fly down to Cabo several times before the wedding to check things out. I'm sure my friends and family would not appreciate having to spend tons of money to get themselves down there to Cabo when we have plenty of nice beaches in California!

So...my wedding venue quest began about a month after getting engaged. We decided on Santa Barbara because it has a special meaning for us- we met at UCSB when we both went to a church retreat there. We first started searching around downtown Santa Barbara and found a veterans memorial hall that was in prime downtown location and a really good price ($1200 from 8am to midnight for the whole facility). Since it was more like a community center, the place would need a lot of work to "dress" it up. As I was walking around the venue, Cheapo Groom ran to me and told me that a veteran was standing at the front entrance and seemed like he was peeing! The fact that we need a lot of work to make the place look presentable, there was no parking on site and the peeing veteran turned me off and we decided to look elsewhere.

We were feeling bummed until it dawned on us...the whole reason we are getting married in Santa Barbara is because we met there so why not get married at the exact place where we met? We found out through my youngest cousin who is going to school at UCSB that there is a nice facility there right on the lagoon where they do a lot of weddings. We went to check it out from the outside and booked the place without even trying their menu or meeting with the coordinator! What were we thinking???

After chatting to the facility manager we found out that through the UC alumni association, we get 50% off the venue rental fee. So our wedding venue will cost us only $750!!!


our future wedding spot

we can use this beach if we want but there are some issues (will discuss next time)

Tips for Cheap Wedding Locales

• Cheapest way- City Hall
• Las Vegas wedding
• Public Facilities- Parks, public beaches, gardens
  
• Schools and Community Centers
• Use your memberships (Alumni, Costco, AAA, etc.)- you never know what kind of discounts you might have!
  

Gemstone Engagement Ring

The diamond industry has brainwashed all of us into thinking that "a diamond is forever" and it is the must for engagement rings. Did you know that in history, gemstone engagement rings are the preferred rings for royalty? The pic is the engagement ring of the late Princess Diana. It is a 3 ct oval cut blue sapphire with 14 diamond stones.

Gemstones are more affordable in price and offer uniqueness to each girl's personality. I myself opted for a pink sapphire ring and one of my best gal pals chose a tanzanite for her ring. With a gemstone ring, you get more bang for the buck and a truly unique ring that no other girl will have! If it's good enough for royalty, gemstone rings are good enough for me!




The ring is just a symbol of the commitment and promise of a life together. Don't make the guy go into debt over a ring that you probably won't wear after kids because your hand will be swollen during pregnancy. The ring is not a status symbol of making sure he knows you're "worth it". If he's willing to marry you, I'm sure you're already worth it! Some might argue that diamonds will appreciate in value...but honestly are you really going to sell your engagement ring? Just pick something that truly reflects your personality without having to break the bank.

Cheapo Bride's Rule of the Ring Finger

• An expensive ring = expensive insurance!
• Diamonds for engagement rings are just a result of good marketing campaign
• Diamonds might be blood diamonds
• Gemstone rings are more affordable and unique
• Yes, a diamond is the hardest stone out there...but are you really going to scratch your diamond ring against a piece of glass?
• You are already worth it if he wants to marry you!

Cheapo Bride launch!

This is a blog about how to keep weddings elegant but simple without spending lots of dough. Ladies, the wedding is just day 1 of the rest of your lives together...so don't go crazy on the wedding and start your marriage in debt!